i don't know, it's hard to express the feeling when you're saying goodbye to people who have become a part of your life. looking at them and realizing that you won't be able to see them as much as you want to makes it even harder.

today was a day of goodbyes.

one of my managers and i could say one of the few people i truly feel comfortable with is leaving us for good (huhu!). i know it's for the better but i can't deny that it will take a little getting used to. it's just so sad seeing people leave like that. one time they're a big part of your life, the next, they're off somewhere. i'm happy though because i know rome will have an even happier and more fulfilling life after p&g. romiiiiiiiiiii we will miss you! visit us once in a while!

when i got home tonight, i saw a big tv in my room..and i realized that the girls at room 503 are leaving this week. they'll have a new home, somewhere far from villaruel. i did see it coming but i never thought it would be this sad. =( i now have no one to run to when i feel bored. no one's going to bother me anymore. now that i think about it, i don't mind being bothered by my friends. friends who i have been together with since college! i know we came here wanting to live an independent life...but we had each other until now. when the weekends, we will really be living on our own.

it's sad. really sad. if i weren't going home in a few hours, i'd probably be drinking until i drown out all the sadness these goodbyes bring with them.

"Here it is, a red balloon
I think of you and let it go"
- 99 red balloons

total shit. i drank two cups of coffee to stay awake because i had work to do. unfortunately, one of our systems is down so i cannot do anything. arrrgghh...talk about being unlucky! now i don't know what to do! i'm wasting my time..i hate it. i would want to go to sleep instead and wake up early but i'm high on caffeine and my eyes just won't close!

because of this unfortunate event, i am just ripping the songs from the albums i bought earlier so that i can transfer them to haruki (my ipod).

i hate thissssssssss.

it was a big event..i mean, compared to anime overload festival, the venue was big, there were more things to see and buy, and there were more cosplayers!! and to think it was the 2nd day already. sad thing is i went there alone! :( it sucks not having friends around who have the same interests as you. i didn't even take any pictures even if i brought my camera with me. i was in anime heaven but it didn't feel that great.

anyhow...good thing i stumbled upon this little store selling 2nd hand japanese albums!! and i was like - WHAAAT?!?!?!?! i spent a good 30 minutes or so going through each and every cd they had. and guess what, it was sold for only 75 pesos per album/single. the ones with double cds costed 100. that is extremely cheap! japanese albums are sold online at more than 1,000 pesos. today i got 9 albums for frigging 600 pesos!!! mwahahahaha.

so i spent all my money coz i didn't bring much cash. i decided to go home after i got my cds. i was back to being a loner. how sad!

on tumblr!

http://jekert.tumblr.com

i will continue tomorrow. i'm already sleepy.

........still speechless. so many things running through my mind right now. i hate it.

crap, naabtan nasab kog alas 6! i was organizing my ipod since 1 AM and didn't notice the time. i only realized it was already morning when it got brighter outside. wooot! i'm gonna go to bed now. 4 hours of sleep will do. i'm excited to use my ipod later...my japanese songs now have lyrics. nyahahaha. ok good night!

di naman ko kbaw mu.suwat oy. ambut ngano. kada abli nako aning akong multiply kay unta mg.blog ko, wa koy masulti. kung ga.sturya pa ko sa tinuoray lang kay mura kog nahutdan ug laway. pero kay wa man jud ko nag.yawyaw, naa pa gud gihapon koy laway pero kasabot na kas akong gpasabot diba? hehe.

mao to naka.huna2x ko mag.bisaya nalang. kay gimingaw nsab ko ug bisaya. bisag akong mga kauban puros bisaya nga mura ra gihapon ko gapuyo ug cebu, lahi ra jud nang madunggan nimo ang uban taw nga wa ka kaila mag.bisaya. makahinumdum jud dayon ko sa cebu ug sa mga taw ngadto --- unsa sila ka way kurat, ka-buotan (?) ug ka-relaxed. dili pareho diri init kau ug ulo ang mga taw, maamong nalang tas pagkasaputon.

bitaw, di man unta tungod ana akong i.blog. matod man unta sa gugma..hahaha. atai. matog nalang ko oy. sala ni sa buzzer beat! way ayo.

maayong buntag nalang! alas singko y media na sa buntag tawn. lami na ipamahaw. naa nsay adlaw sa gawas. nag.hinay2x ug saka. ako, mag.hinay2x nsab ug higda.

i guess in the end, i am thankful for everything.

• work - which is not really the best part of my life right now yet gives me reason to push myself even harder and achieve things i never thought i could do.
  
• friends scattered all over who despite the distance make me feel safe, just knowing they're a click of a button away.
  
• friends who are near and who make me feel at home in this foreign land (yes, it's still foreign).
  
• my family - both a frustration and inspiration.
  

everything. sure, i could ask for more. but at this very moment, i am nothing but grateful.

本当にどうもありがとうございます！

i've never really been good at being alone. yes, there are times when i want to be alone but that's more of an exception. i feel like a dog that will die if left alone by the owner for a long time. hehe. i'm exaggerating but it feels a little bit like that. 

sorry guys, i tried to come up with a really good blog post but the words just wouldn't come. i spent 30 mins trying to blog but to no avail. sucks.

i just wanted to say that i had a fun weekend. and there were some realizations on life as well...the things i want to do, the life i want to live...things that bother me each night before i go to sleep and every time i wake up in the morning. i search for the words but they escape me.

i guess it all boils down to me missing my life in cebu. i want that back.

sorry guys, i tried to come up with a really good blog post but the words just wouldn't come. i spent 30 mins trying to blog but to no avail. sucks.

i just wanted to say that i had a fun weekend. and there were some realizations on life as well...the things i want to do, the life i want to live...things that bother me each night before i go to sleep and every time i wake up in the morning. i search for the words but they escape me.

i guess it all boils down to me missing my life in cebu. i want that back.

what a week!!! i keep saying this but work is really stressing me out now. to the point that i want to jump off this building. haha. i'm just kidding but that kind of feeling comes to me every now and then. well, for one, i'm sitting right beside the glass wall and the scenery outside is tempting. but thinking about it, i'd feel a lot better if i threw my laptop out instead. hahaha. someone's too stressed.

i can't complain though. this week was as fun as it was stressful. in a way, i can say i'm not alone in all this. people are stressed with me. we share the same pressures and frustrations. and because we are in this together, it doesn't feel that bad. a game of pictionary with my teammates helps boost my energy within the day. 2 to 3 bottles of beer with friends after office allows me to get rid of all the negativity and makes me feel like a college student once again. at the end of the day, somehow, i still get to sleep well.

still, the next day is another story and i wake up to another long and stressful day. until when will it be like this? is this really what i want in my life? i'm back to the same question i once asked myself.

i know! you're probably tired hearing me speak of stress and work. i am tired listening to myself as well. sorry but i really can't talk about anything but work lately. it has consumed me once again as it has before. i managing it better now but i can't help but complain sometimes. and i have no one to complain to so i try to let it out online.

anyhow, when i got home today, i didn't bring my work laptop so i watched tv. and then i realized that it's been a loooong time since i've watched tv! haha. watda. we have cable but we don't really make full use of it. going back, it was jk pop on vtunes at channel v and i enjoyed watching jmusic videos. hehe. i saw mika nakashima's new video. there's also one from arashi. and teppei koike has a solo song. i only got to see the 2nd half of the show though. sucks. i miss watching japanese music videos!

i forgot to mention i was watching tv while drinking tanduay ice. hahaha.

ok i will now go to sleep. did you guys miss me? haha. i miss my internet social life. if that's what you call it.

byeeee!!! :)

so i decided against going to MOA for groceries. instead, i will spend my sunday night here at home. my saturday was jampacked with activities, which although fun, was stressful. tomorrow is the start of another stressful week so i might as well just enjoy the remaining hours of the weekend at home, watching jdrama or reading a book. now all i need is a big cup of hot caramel macchiato and the night would already be perfect! :(

hmm..i want to blog about yesterday night but i'm too lazy. hehe. will just wait for emee's pics! for the first time, i didn't bring my camera and didn't take pictures of an absolutely fun night. haha.

ok, i'm going to sound like an alcoholic. but really, what's with alcohol?

i guess it's kinda like unrequited love. bittersweet. makes you feel so good and happy at one point, and then leaves you wretching in pain the next. too much of it could kill you. it warms you in the cold of the night. it's like living in a dream, a temporary utopian state.  but in the morning, you're back to reality. you wake up to the sad fact that you are all alone. left with nothing but a bad hangover. and probably a broken liver.

i'll be just fine pretending i'm not. and i don't mind sticking to my bottle of beer. it's better than nothing.

today, our team visited Chandy at the hospital. she just gave birth to a very healthy and cute baby girl. it was also my first time in alabang! hehe. we had dinner at alabang town center after. it was a relaxing and stress-free night for MEA!! :)

presenting, chandy's baby, marcelle gloria (i'm not sure of the spelling!):
(sorry, i didn't have a decent camera with me..just my phone..hehe)

i had a weird attack today. i couldn't very well describe it in words. first, i felt so dizzy and nauseous, i felt like my brain was being pulled out of my head, i couldn't breathe properly, i found it hard to swallow my own saliva, and i panicked. well, what do you expect? at first i thought it had something to do with my recent accident so i went down to the clinic to get it checked. the nurse said it was ok since the would was healing up and i asked her if there might be a chance of internal bleeding or something. she didn't really react to my question so it might not be possible (since as a nurse, it would be her duty to call out risks). i'm going to see the doctor tomorrow and ask about the dizziness i experienced tonight just to be sure.

ok it's my fault i watched the phantom of the opera for the 3rd time again tonight. the first time i saw it was on a pirated dvd back in cebu. the 2nd time, with friends at the big screen. 2 weeks ago, i bought an original dvd from odyssey when i saw it on sale.

i love musicals so i am biased towards the movie. but i guess the biggest thing that struck me most this time around was perhaps something that was too cheesy to be struck by the first two times i saw the movie (which was in college). yes, it's related to the title. ok, it might still be cheesy at this age but somehow it just seems more proper.

the phantom was an unlucky guy. born with a deformed face, shown off and beaten at the circus to be laughed at. so it might come as natural when he falls in love in a demented kind of way. and when he did fall in love, he fell in too deep. deep shit, in fact.

i'm actually having second thoughts blogging about this because i risk being mocked and laughed at by the few of you who actually reads my posts. oh, well.

i am envious of the phantom. to be able to hold something that deep and pure within despite the dark and cruel life he has lived is something worth admiring. to have someone to love to the point of insanity is something i want to be able to feel in my life. something to go after like a mad bull, even if the odds are against it. even if it'll ruin me in the end. at least, once in my life, i've felt what it's like to have one great love.

i'm not romantic or cheesy but sometimes these thoughts do bother me. i'm growing older every minute and yet i'm merely "floating" as i would like to call it. i believe love is a choice. yet i'm not making that choice. haha. why?

why can't i just like be the phantom of the opera?

P.S. I like this song and I dedicate it to all nocturnal beings out there. :)
Night-time sharpens, heightens each sensation.
Darkness stirs and wakes imagination.
Silently the senses abandon their defenses.
Slowly, gently night unfurls its splendour.
Grasp it, sense it - tremulous and tender.
Turn your face away from the garish light of day,
turn your thoughts away from cold, unfeeling light -
and listen to the music of the night.

woot! two big anime conventions coming in november. yahoo! i'm so excited. the first time and only time i attended one was back in 2007. i went in my normal self, with a low-batt camera. so i had to use my old phone's camera instead. i can't believe that was almost two years ago!

anyhow, presenting the 2 upcoming anime/manga conventions i will DEFINITELY attend this november:


you have to click on the posters to see the details! :)

anyhow, if you feel like reminiscing with me, here's the link to my first anime convention album: http://jekert.multiply.com/photos/album/81/Hero_TV_Anime_Convention